Sgt frog and Gurren Lagann Episode 2: How To Pilot a Gunman
by moomin warrior
Summary: In episode 2 Of Sgt Frog and Gurren Lagann, Keroro Finds His own gunman, which contains unusual abilities, which may yet be put to good use. Rated T for teen, for action violence, gross humor, and some language. I do not own any of the characters, but this series is mine!


Sgt. Frog and Gurren Lagann Episode 2

Handsome Keroro and Team Gurren present:

How to Pilot a Gunmen  (The Hardy and exiting Way)

(In Keroro's world, everybody is doing whatever he or she does on a daily basis, but everyone does notice that Keroro is missing. In the Hinata household, Fuyuki and Natsumi are in their school uniforms and they are having breakfast before they go to school. Fuyuki is worried about Keroro).

Fuyuki: Sarge didn't come back last night. I wonder what happened to him?

Natsumi: Forget the Frog. If he wants to run away and get himself lost, let him. We finally have a bit of peace and quiet around here.

Fuyuki: Don't act like that, Natsumi! I know as well as you do that you care about him.

Natsumi: No, I don't! Like I would care if that stupid frog got lost!

Fuyuki: Hmmm. Where could he be…

(The sun rises slowly over the desert and shows its rays of light into the camp. This camp belongs to none toner than Team Gurren, who had a hard time sleeping last night. Everyone gets up, yawns loudly, and promptly go back to sleep. Keroro wakes up and mutters to himself).

Keroro: (Tired) C'mon Mom, 5 more minutes. (Gets up) Kero? Where am I? Oh, right, I'm with Team Gurren!

(Keroro has recently taken refuge with Team Gurren when he was stranded is this random world. Keroro then walks to where the middle of the camp is supposed to be).

Keroro: That was quite a day yesterday. Okay people, rise and shine! It's time to make me a non-healthy breakfast!

(Everybody just continues sleeping. Keroro tries to wake up Simon).

Keroro: Wake up Simon! Time to make me breakfast!

Simon: (Mumbles) Uuuuugghhh. Not now.

Keroro: Okay then. Simon is out.

(Keroro turns to Yoko).

Keroro: Rise and Shine, Yoko!

Yoko: (Mutters and hugs pillow) Mmmm. Five more minutes.

Keroro: (Sighs frustratingly) Wake up, Kamina.

Kamina (Grumbles) Go away, Mom! I wanna sleep (Sucks his thumb)

Keroro: All right then, you all leave me no other choice.

(Keroro picks up his Keroball, presses a button, and a small bugle pops out of the Keroball. Keroro then puts the bugle to his lips and starts playing the reveille military wake up call. Once the bugle stars playing, the whole team wakes up and yells in surprise).

Simon: AHHH! What the-?!

Yoko: Who?! What?! Where?! What's going on?!

Kamina: EAAAH! What the hell is that?!

Leeron: (Removes nightshades) Darn. There goes my beauty rest.

Keroro: Good morning!

Kamina: What the hell is your problem?!

Keroro: I was only giving you the wake-up call that we use back home on Keron 1.

Simon: Well, please try not to use it next time, okay.

Keroro: I won't need it right now, since you are all awake.

Yoko: Well, I guess it is about time that we got our day started.

Keroro: So, what's for breakfast?

Simon: But, Sarge, we just woke up.

Keroro: Don't worry, I'll get breakfast ready! Now, where's the Keroball? Ah, here it is! (Keroro presses a button that opens a funnel and he then squeezes into the Keroball. The others watch as the ball rolls about).

Simon: So, what are we gonna do with him?

Kamina: I say that once he's out of his ball, we ought to kill him.

Simon: C'mon Bro, don't you think that's a little bit of an overreaction?

Kamina: No, I don't! He tried to kill us yesterday! Team Gurren doesn't befriend their enemies!

Yoko: Well, we can't just kill him, now that he's all alone.

Kamina: Aw, shut up. We don't need your opinion. Right, Simon?

Simon: Well…uh…

Yoko: You can't decide for Simon!

Kamina: Who's the leader of this Team, Huh?! Me! Not you, so pipe down, Hippo-hips!

Simon: Don't talk to her like that, Bro!

(Kamina looks at Simon with a surprised face).

Kamina: (In disbelief) What? Whose side are you on, Simon? Hers, or mine?

Simon: I-it's not like that, Bro. It's just that I agree with Yoko.

Kamina: Fine, but when throats are cut in our sleep, don't blame me.

Keroro: (From inside the Keroball) (I can hear every word that you're saying. I suggest that you move 10 ft. away from the ball. Ow! Paperclip!).

(The team backs away from the ball and continues talking).

Kamina: I still say we should kill him. He can hear us from inside his ball.

Yoko: For the last time, we are not gonna kill him!

Simon: I'm sorry Bro, but I'm with Yoko on this one.

(Keroro pops out of the Keroball).

Keroro: 'Found them! (Holds a small box) Who wants PopTarts?

Simon: (Curiously) PopTarts?

Keroro: Never heard of them? Here, try some.

(Simon and Kamina try some of the PopTarts).

Simon: Hey, these are good!

Kamina: Yeah! (Grabs the box) I call dibs!

Yoko: (Grabs the box from Kamina) Hey! Don't be such a greedy pig!

Keroro: There's no need to kill each other, there's enough to go around and, HEY! THAT CINNOMON POPTART IS MINE!

(Keroro leaps on Kaminas face for the PopTart that he's holding. Pretty soon, Keroro and Kamina are wrestling over the whole box. 5 minutes later, Yoko finally manages to pull them apart).

Keroro: (Holding a half-eaten PopTart) My Precious…it's ours…. my precious…. KERO! KERO!

Simon: What was that?

Keroro: Nothing.

Simon: So (Eats PopTart) What are we going to do today?

Kamina: We kick Gunmen *&%, that's what!

Yoko: There may not be so many today.

Leeron: After that battle we fought the day before yesterday, they'll probably be regrouping at their headquarters.

Keroro: So, what do we do until then?

Kamina: Nothing except loafing around.

Keroro: Eh, I'm good with that.

(Everyone sits around and does nothing. To pass the time, Yoko decides to have a conversation with Keroro).

Yoko: So, Keroro, what kinds of things do you like to do?

Keroro: Wait, you want to know what my hobbies are?

Yoko: Yeah.

Keroro: Well, my main thing is to conquer your planet and enslave your whole race.

Yoko: (Chuckles) I kinda figured that out. What else?

Keroro: (Encouraged) I like building Gunplas.

Simon: That's nice!

Kamina: That's the lamest and crappiest hobby I've ever heard of. Who the hell would want to build statues that do practically nothing?

Yoko: (Angrily) Hey shut up Kamina! I don't insult your hobbies!

Keroro: (Angrily) Yeah! What she said! Gundams are awesome! Right Simon?

Simon: Well…uh… I guess I like them also?

Yoko: So, Sarge, its not that I doubt your potential, but isn't it kind of hard to take over the world all by yourself?

Keroro: Well, I didn't come to take over this planet all by myself. I have my own platoon that's made up of 4 other Keronians.

Simon: Who are these other Keronians?

Keroro: Well, the first one is Pvt. Tamama . He's cute and he loves anything sugary, but don't push him too hard, because he can produce a powerful deadly beam of energy. The second one is Corporal Giroro, Weapons Specialist. He's fierce and he wants me to concentrate on conquering Pekopon. He also has a crush on a middle-school female. The third one is Sgt. major Kululu. He's really weird, and his sense of humor is pretty  twisted. He's well know for his dirty tricks and pranks and whenever he's up to something or when he's done something mischievous, he goes "Kukukukukukukuku." The only reason why we put up with him is because he's so mart and great at inventing things. And nobody, and I mean NOBODY, likes him at all. The fourth one is… uh… I forgot… who was it? Oh, Right! The Pizza Man! No no no no, wait (thinks) Ah, yes, #4 is Lance Corporal Dororo. He's a skillful ninja. The only problem with him is that we keep forgetting him, that, and the fact that he was a victim of childhood traumas. He constantly tries to protect Pekopon's beauty.

Yoko: Whoa, you really have your work cut out for you, Sarge.

Keroro: Yeah. We hang out in our underground base and we devise awesome battle plans to take over Pekopon.

Simon: What is the name of your platoon?

Keroro: My platoon is known as the Advance Recon Mission Preparatory Invasion Terror Platoon. Sadly, our name is somewhat "unfortunate."

Simon: (Curiously) So, Sarge, why do you want to conquer our planet?

(When Keroro hears this, he nervously turns around. This was a question that he was rarely asked).

Keroro: (nervously) Kero! Uh…no reason at all. We Keronians have been studying Pekopon for years and…well…(starts to sweat) I-is it hot out here or what? I… gotta… uh, toast a Belgian waffle…

Simon: Are you too nervous to tell us?

Keroro: (Stammers nervously) Uh-well-I-you see-I-don't-uh-well-!

Yoko: Look, Sarge, if you don't want to tell us now, we're okay with that.

Keroro: Really? Kero? (Sighs in relief) Whew, that was close.

Yoko: Can we hold the Keroball?

Keroro: Sure!

(Everyone looks at the Keroball. Boota sniffs it in curiosity).

Yoko: So, besides destroying things and people, it can also deliver messages and hold stuff?

Keroro: Yep. It has all kinds of strange gadgets and abilities. Sgt. Major Kululu designed it for me.

Yoko: What does that button do?

Keroro: This one does-uh- I don't really know what this one does (Presses button).

(When Keroro presses the button, the Keroball squirts acid onto a rock that immediately melts).

Kamina: What the hell?!

Simon: Did the Keroball do that?

Keroro: Whoa! I never knew that the Keroball could do that. Kululu didn't tell me about this ability. Come to think of it, there were a lot of things that Kululu never told me about this ball.

Kamina: What does this button do? (Presses button).

Keroro: Kero! Wait, don't touch that one!

(As soon as Kamina touches the button, the Keroball gives off a nasty shock that electrifies everybody).

Yoko: (in pain) He told you not to touch it!

Leeron: My, this little darling IS full of energy.

Keroro: Be careful, foolish pekoponians, for a single touch of the Keroball could destroy your ENITRE planet.

Simon: (Surprised) Really?! It can do that?

Keroro: Yeah. I think the button is next to the Dance Party button.

Kamina: As leader of Team Gurren, I'm taking that ball of yours and adding it to Gurren!

Keroro: Never! It was made for me and I'll use it however I like!

(Keroro and Kamina immediately start to fight over the Keroball).

Kamian: Give it to me!

Keroro: It's mine! My Precioussssssss!

Yoko: Why don't I hold it?

Kamina: Stay outta this, Pit-Chick!

Keroro: Hold on, we should see where she's going with this.

Yoko: If you give it to me and trust me with it, I can eventually trust you with it.

Keroro: (thinks and shrugs) Oh, What the heck. Lets' go for it.

(Keroro hand the Keroball over to Yoko).

Yoko: (smiles) Thanks!

Kamina: (in disbelief) What the hell?! Why does she get to hold it?!

Keroro: Because in a comedy, women go first, Mr. Loser.

Kamina: Oh shut up, ya Stupid Fr-.

(Keroro gasps in terror when Kamina is about to call him "Stupid Frog," which he was called several times by Natsumi. Being called that word in one world was bad enough, but in TWO-?!).

Keroro: (Slow motion) NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Tackles Kamina in the face).

Kamina: What the hell is wrong with you?!

Keroro: (looks at Kamina with unnerved eyes) I beg you, in the name of all that is Holy, don't call me that word!

Kamina: What, you mean "Stupid Fro-."

Keroro: (Angrily points a finger) NONONONONO! Not a single utter!

Simon: Why not?

Keroro: You don't know how many times I was called that word! Back in my world, whenever I try to take over your planet and fail, the eldest sibling in the Hinata Family calls me "that word." I can't stand being called "that word " in another dimension! Please, PLEASE don't call me that word, and don't call me dumb or stupid toad/frog, Fribbiot, Frog/Toad turd, or any insult that has the slightest amphibian reference!

Kamina: OKAY! Sheesh! Just get off my face!

Keroro: (Turns to Simon, Yoko, and Leeron) please don't call me those names either.

Simon: Uh, well, ok.

Yoko: If it really means that much to you, then okay.

Leeron: Since you can be a little flexible, I'll go along with it.

Keroro: (sighs in relief) Thank you all.

Simon: So, what do we do now?

Yoko: Nothing, for now, I guess.

Keroro: Hey! I know what we can do to pass the time! We can play Mongolian Poker! (Picks up a pack of cards) C'mon, who wants a go at it? The cards have pictures of Bactrian Camels on the back of them!

(Back in Keroro's world, the Hinata kids are at school, doing what they normally do with all their friends. Fuyuki looks out the window in the classroom that he's in, wondering where Keroro could be.

Fuyuki: Hmmm. Sarge hasn't called anyone or me recently. Maybe he's here at the school planning another invasion idea. Of course! He must be waiting at a large school event and he's going to try to put it into action there! The most recent school event is going to be the Pep Rally!

(Despite Fuyiki's reasonable theory, Keroro didn't show up at all).

Fuyuki: (depressed) Sarge didn't make any appearances.

(All of a sudden, Koyuki lands on her feet right in front of Fuyuki, starling him).

Fuyuki: (startled) Ahhh! Koyuki!

Koyuki: Hi Fuyuki!

Fuyuki: Oh, hi. Don't startle me like that.

Koyuki: Is something bothering you?

Fuyuki: It's Sarge. He didn't come home last night and I'm starting to worry about him. Where could he be?

Keroro: (holding cards) 'Got any threes?

Yoko: (holding cards) Nope. Go fish.

(Keroro and the others has been playing Go-fish for the past 15 minutes. Everyone has their own set of cards and they are enjoying the game, even though they have no idea what the Bactrian Camels are. The only one who is not enjoying this is Kamina.

Kamina: What is this game anyway?

Leeron: It's called "Go-fish."

Simon: Why is it called that?

Keroro: Who cares? It's better than doing nothing.

Leeron: Got any 7's, (winks at Keroro) Darling?

Keroro: If I give you my 7 card, will you please stop freaking me out?

Kamina: This game sucks! (Tosses cards) Who would want to play this crappy excuse for a game!

Yoko: Don't be such a sore loser!

Keroro: Out of curiosity, does he always say "who" or "what" the hell?

Simon: Sadly, yes.

Yoko: (Frustrated) Fine, if you don't want to play a game without cussing or cheating, then what do you want to do?

Kamina: Nothing. I want to do nothing

?: (female British voice) My, aren't you the lazy bum.

Everyone: AAAAhhh!

Keroro: Kero?! Who said that?!

?: I did.

Simon: Who's there?!

?: The British Narrator, of course.

Kamina: Where are you?!

?: That's classified information, my good man.

Keroro: Oh, wait, it's just another Narrartor.

British Narrartor: I'm very glad to see that someone notices the difference.

Simon: What's a narrator?

Yoko: Someone who narrates a story.

Keroro: Back in my world, we have a very annoying narrator.

British Narrator: Dreadfully sorry to burst in on all of you like this.

Keroro: What are you doing here?

British Narrator: The real question is what are "you" doing here, Sergeant Keroro.

Keroro: Oh, nothing really, just hang out after being sucked into a random vortex and- (stops) You didn't happen to hear me playing the "Crocodile Rock" song in the first episode, by any chance?

British Narrator: I couldn't have had the pleasure.

Keroro: Of course.

British Narrator: Sine you all have nothing to do, may I interest you with something?

Kamina: How the hell could a voice in the sky think of something fun or interesting for us anyway?

B.N.: First of all, I am most certainly not a voice in the sky. Second, you really should learn how to control your language. Third, if you walk outside of your camp, you will stumble (literally stumble) across a rather remarkable object.

Keroro: Really? It must be a Gundam model! (Rushes out of the camp) I call it!

(Keroro runs out of the camp).

Yoko: Sarge, Wait!

Keroro: Relax, it's probably out of condition already-Whoa! Kero!

Simon: Sarge?

(Keroro trips over something).

Keroro: Ow, Kero, what did I trip over? Kero? What the frog is this?

Simon: What's what?

Keroro: This (moves dirt) I think I found something.

British Narrator: See, I told you so.

Simon: What is it?

Kamina: Well, don't just stand there, dig it up!

Boota: Bui?

Yoko: Whatever happened to "Yoko, could you please help Simon and Keroro unearth the found object?"

British Narrator: You prove a rather good point, Miss Yoko.

Yoko: (smiles) Thanks!

(Keroro tries to lift the object).

Keroro: Kerooooo! Grrrrr!

Simon: What are you doing, Sarge?

Keroro: I'm trying to lift this thing, but it's too froggin' heavy!

Yoko: (laughs) well, you won't get it out that way.

Simon: I'm good at digging, I'll help you dig it out.

(20 minutes later, they uncover an enormous object).

Keroro: What's all this crap in the ground?

Simon: I don't know.

Yoko: I think it's a gunman.

Keroro: Cool! I call it!

(Keroro unearths the face of the gunman. It is a greenish-black color. It has two large, pale, oval-shaped eyes. Its mouth is jagged and shut tight).

Keroro: Okay, how do you open this thing? (Taps the face).

(Keroro starts to tug, pull, push, yank, and lift on the gunman's mouth, but nothing works. Keroro finally gives up and lays against the mouth).

Keroro: (Tired out) Well, this thing is obviously a lost cause, and-.

(Before Keroro can say anything else, the gunman's mouth promptly opens and Keroro falls into it).

Keroro: (startled) Huh? (Falls into mouth) Kerooooooooooo!

(We hear Keroro land with a thud that causes a small dust cloud).

Simon: Sarge?!

Keroro: (from inside)… oooooowwwwww…. kerooo…

Yoko: (calls into gunman) Sarge? Are you alright?

Keroro: (painfully) Yeah, but you really ought to see that sand dune…

Simon: What's it like in there?

(Keroro observes the cockpit. It is filled with old looking parts that look similar to cars or engines form the late 19th Century and the 20th Century (examples: buttons, gears, levers, a speakerphone, and a rotating chair).

Keroro: It's full of old parts.

Leeron: What do these parts look like?

Keroro: They look like gears and old handles and…it's very dusty in here.

Leeron: Old parts? That doesn't seem familiar on a gunman?

Keroro: How do you work this thing?

Yoko: there should be some handles in there. Grab hold of them and see if anything happens.

Keroro: Okay then.

(Keroro looks around and finds two levers that look like they can rotate).

Keroro: (notices levers) Kero? Are these the levers?

(Keroro pulls the handles and waits for something to happen. Twelve seconds pass and nothing happens).

Keroro; Nothing happened. Huh. Must be broken. Oh well, I guess I can sell it on eBay for a new dvd player and-Wha-whoa-KERO!

(All of a sudden, the gunman starts to shake and finally, it emerges from the ground with a shower of dirt and sand. It is unlike anything any member of Team Gurren has ever seen. The gunman is shaped like a large, round ball. Its shoulders are round as well. The arms are long and cylinder shaped. The legs are slightly shorter than the arms, the hands are shaped like cubes and each hand has 3, white fingers. The color of this gunman is a blackish-green. The gunman is bigger than Lagann, but shorter than Gurren).

Simon: (in awe) Whoa…

Yoko: I've never seen any kind of gunman like this.

Leeron: Me neither, although I must say, this is very interesting.

Boota: Ohhhhhi.

Kamina: Sheesh, this thing's ugly for a gunman.

Keroro: Hey guys, look! I got it working! Is something wrong?

Simon: It's your gunman, Sarge.

Keroro: What about it?

Leeron: Well well well.

Keroro: What?

Leeron: Judging by the design of this gunman, I'd say that it's pretty old.

Kamina: What the hell are you talking about?

Leeron: I could be mistaken, but this gunman could be an older model.

Simon: An older model? Like an earlier version.

Kamina: So you're saying that this is is a grandpa of earlier gunmen? Sheesh, that's lame.

Simon: I don't know, it looks kind of neat.

Keroro: (disappointed) Aw what?! You mean I wasted this whole time digging up a gunman, only to discover that it's an out-of-fashion grandparent?!

Simon: (frowns) Hey! I did all the digging and-.

Keroro: (angrily) You have got to be froggin' (pounds the control pad) kidding me!

(Once Keroro pounds the control panel, he hits a button and the gunman's hands turn into cannons and fire two, round, basketball-sized cannonballs that blows a nearby bolder into pieces).

Keroro: (in surprise) Kero?! Did I do that?!

Simon: (in awe) Whoa!

Kamina: What the hell?!

Yoko: Was that … a cannonball?

Leeron: Very Interesting.

Keroro: Wooooooooow! What else does this thing do?

(Keroro presses another button, and a barrel full of gunpowder shoots out of the gunman's shoulder and explodes on impact a few miles away).

Keroro: Cool! Explosive barrels! This somehow reminds me of a game where a stereotypical Italian plumber is dodging barrels being tossed by a big gorilla. Oh well, a game like that wouldn't be that popular anyway. Hey, kero, what does this lever do?

(Keroro pulls the lever and suddenly, the gunman starts spinning in fast circles).

Keroro: Huh? What the-KERROOOO!

Simon: (trying to dodge the gunman's swinging fist) AHHHHH!

Yoko: (surprised) Sarge! What are you doing in there?!

Keroro: I don't know! I just pulled a switch and now I'm going in circles!

Kamina: don't just sits in there on you're #$, do something!

Keroro: I can't! I'm gonna hurl! KEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(The gunman spins out of control while Keroro is inside, being pinned down by the pressure. While he is doing a one-man's-impression of someone who has jumped into hyperspace, he notices the same lever and attempts to reach it).

Keroro: (trying to reach the lever) must…. Pull…200 year old…lever! (Grabs lever) Got it! (Pulls it) Kero!

(The gunman stops spinning and slowly stops with a hiss. The mouth opens and Keroro tumbles out like someone who had just gotten of the MatterHorn ride after eating a whole lot of junkfood).

Keroro: (dizzy) whooaaaaa…kero…where am I….

Simon: Sarge! Are you all right?

Keroro: (dizzy) Huh? OhyeahI'mfine…hey Simon, you's got three heads…I see pretty stars…Hurk!

(Keroro goes behind a boulder and promptly starts to puke loudly).

Keroro: (puking) Urk! Blagg! Blarg! Cough! Bleagh! Awuckh! (Turns around and smiles) I'm all better now- (Stops smiling and covers his mouth) –or not. Hold on.

(Keroro rushes back behind the boulder and starts puking again).

Keroro: (puking) Glrlrlrlahghghg! Hack! Hey, it's the PopTart I ate earlier today! Blaghthghgh! Cough! Okay (gasp) I'm good.

Leeron: (Feeling the gunman) This handsome devil packs quite a lot of power, despite it's fashion.

Keroro: Okay that was wild and crazy.

Simon: Are you okay Sarge?

Keroro: Huh? Oh, don't you worry about me. I'm all right.

Simon: So, now what do we do?

Yoko: I don't know.

Leeron: Hey, you guys, I just got my computer working again. You better come look at this.

(Simon and the others gather around Leeron's computer).

Simon: What is it?

Keroro: Is this YouTube?

Leeron: I just picked up the enemy's location: it's farther away than I expected.

Kamina: Hey, I just forgot the reason why we're out here in the first place! We have to continue our journey to pierce the heavens!

Keroro: Pierce the "what-now?"

Kamina: We're the manly Team Gurren (points up toward the sky) and our mission won't stop until we pierce the heavens, and beyond!

Keroro: Really, well I'd hate to ruin your heroic rant, but the heavens already have been pierced.

Kamina: Huh?

Keroro: The Mole People of the Planet Digger87 have pierced the heavens 27 times and it only took them 3 days and 4 light years.

Kamina: What?!

Keroro: Yep, and we Keronians helped them, since we have an alliance.

Kamina: Then you oughta join us on our journey, Sarge ol' buddy.

Keroro: As tempting and adventurous as is seems, I must refuse. I already have to conquer a whole planet.

Leeron: Really? Are you sure you don't want to help us, (Flamboyantly winks) not even for me?

Keroro: (unnerved) No, and if you do that eye thing again, I'll mutilate your face.

Yoko: (frowns) C'mon you guys, I don't think we should get Sarge involved in this.

Leeron: He _could _help us locate the enemy headquarters with the help of the Keroball.

Keroro: Sorry, but I'm afraid that you'll just have to look somewhere else, so-.

(Keroro stops in the middle of his sentence and turns back to Leeron).

Keroro: Wait, the enemy "what?"

Leeron: The enemy headquarters. That's what we're looking for.

Keroro: Kero? Headquarters?

Simon: We've been trying to find an enemy base for weeks.

Yoko: (frowns) Guys!

(Keroro, who is growing more interested by the minute, thinks and scratches his chin).

Keroro: (Thinking) This base, is it large?

Leeron: It's impossible to say, but I would assume that it might be very big enough to carry several battalions of gunmen.

Keroro: (gasps in amazement) KERO! (Thinking)(Several battalions?!).

Yoko: Will you stop trying to tempt Sarge to join us already?!

Kamina: Aw, stop butting in, Pit-chick!

Simon: C'mon you guys, don't argue!

(While Team Gurren argues, none of them notice Keroro thinking to himself, and he has his mischievous, diabolical look).

Keroro: (Thinking and smiling diabolically) (_You've hit the fortress jackpot, Keroro old boy! A base large enough to hold __**BATALLIONS**__ of these gunman thingies! This is the perfect opportunity to capture a new and awesome base! All I need to do is follow these Pekoponians teenagers and their supercilious, loud-mouthed leader and they'll lead me right to it! Then, after we've captured it, I'll just wait for the others to find me and then we'll take the base as our own! After that, I'll have Kululu turn Mr. Snotty Pants Extreme into a space ferret and I'll feed him to my pet space leech, Peanut. Then, I'll sell the flamboyant one to a Gay Mental Facility, while the baby-faced one and the big-boobed one will do all my chores, or reach the cereal at the top of the refrigerator. Giroro will be so exited and I might be able to hire some of those Beastmen or whatever they call them as mercenaries, and after we take over this world, we can finally take over The Pekopon back home! Headquarters will surely raise our war budget! It's perfect!_) (Laughs) Keeeeeeeero kero kero kero kero!

Simon: Sarge, what are you laughing about?

Keroro: (turns around) Hmm? Oh, nothing, I was only thinking about a funny warrior poem.

Simon: Oh, okay then.

Keroro: Yes (smiles and thinks deviously)(_And by "warrior poem", I mean, "you're impending doom." Kerokerokero_).

Kamina: So, now what do we do?

British Narrator: I know what you can do for fun in about, let me see, hmmm, six seconds.

Kamina: That's the lamest crap I've heard today. What the hell do you think is possibly going to-?

BOOOOOOOM!

(All of a sudden, an earth-shaking explosion occurs nearby).

Keroro: (Startled) Ahhh! What was that?!

Simon: Gunmen!

British Narrator: Once again, I told you so.

Kamina: (Smiles) Yeah! Something awesome!

(Simon and Kamina get into Lagann and Gurren, combine. Yoko picks up her rifle, and Keroro watches from behind the old gunman that he has found next to Leeron while he watches the battle start. There are 3 enemy gunmen: an insect-like one, a tiki-like one, and a jaguar-like one. They are all as big as Gurren. The insect-like gunman points at Team Gurren and speaks in a metallic voice).

Gunman#1: (metal voices) We've found 'em!

(The tiki-like gunman pounds his fists together).

Gunman#2: Let's get 'em!

(The jaguar-like gunman shouts in agreement).

Gunman#3: Time for us to get our revenge for that last battle!

Kamina: (In Gurren Lagann) 'You back for another $ #-whooping, even after you got beaten in that last battle?

Gunman#2: Well, yeah, duh!

Kamina: (smiles) Oh really?! Just who-?!

(The gunmen roll their metal eyes and groan in annoyance. The 1st gunman uses its hand to mimic Kamina and finish his speech).

Gunman#1: (finishing speech in annoyed tone) –the hell do we think you are, big heroic speech, blah blah blah blah blah.

Kamina: (angrily) Hey, let me finish, d#%$it!

Gunmen#2: You'll soon be laughing on the other side of your naked faces, human scum! We've had our gunmen upgraded and we look forward to crushing your face!

Kamina: Well, lets fight and kick #*!

(Gurren Lagann punches the first gunman in the face, who, in return, kicks Gurren Lagann in the arm. Gurren Lagann then drills off one the arm of one of the gunmen. Yoko fires her rifle and hits the third gunman in the face, but it soon gets back up).

Gunman#3: You're tough, but now we're tougher!

Kamina: Shut up and die already, you annoying-!

Simon: Bro! Look out!

(Suddenly, the second gunman tackles Gurren Lagann from behind and rips Lagann out of Gurren as if it is a splinter that had been stuck in the skin for months on end).

Kamina: What the hell?!

Gunman#2: Hahaha! 'Bet you didn't see that coming, ya filthy humans!

Simon: Help!

Yoko: Simon!

(Like lightning, the first and third gunmen seize Gurren by it's arms and legs and start to yank it, similar to how a crazy barbarian would tear the limbs off a random and innocent bystander. Meanwhile, Keroro, who is observing all of this from behind a rock).

Keroro: (watching all this with a nervous look) Wow, kero, they're REALLY getting the snot kicked outta them. What do I do? What do I do? What would Captain Geroro do?

(Keroro notices the gunman he and Simon dug up earlier).

Keroro: (thinking) Hmmmmmm. I think I have an idea.

(Back at the battle, Lagann is being held in the hands of the second gunman while Gurren is being pulled apart like Legos that have been stuck together with gum for 3 years).

Gunman#3: (Yanking Gurren's legs) Take care of the small fry; we'll tear this guy into a lifeless rag doll.

Gunmen#2: (laughs evilly) I'll crush you to a pulp, you little pipsqueak!

(Just then, an electric bolt hits the second gunman in the face).

Gunman#2: Argh! Who did that?!

Gunman#1: It's that female sniper, over there on that cliff!

Gunman#2: I'll take care of her! (Shoots a missile at Yoko's position).

Simon: No! Yoko!

(The missile blows the cliff apart and Yoko loses her balance and falls off).

Yoko: (falling) AAAAAHHHHHH! Oof! Huh?

(Yoko looks and sees that the old gunman has saved her from falling. Keroro is piloting the gunman).

Keroro: 'You okay?

Yoko: (smiles) Yes! Thanks!

Keroro: No need to worry, Sgt. Keroro is here!

Yoko: I'm okay, but Simon and Kamina are in trouble! Try to distract them long enough until I can find a better position to fire from.

Keroro: (salutes) Yes Sir, I mean ma'am, no wait, Skipper-thingie, or, uh, Mr., no, wait-.

Yoko: Just go already!

Keroro: Okay, okay! (Rushes towards the battle).

(Two of the gunmen hold Gurren while the other one is holding Lagann).

Gunman#2: Your female friend fell so easily, and know you can watch as we tear your friend limb from limb while I crush you!

Simon: AHHHHH!

(Suddenly, a cannonball hits the second gunman in the face).

Gunman#2: Ah! What was that?!

Gunman#1: Now What?

Keroro: Drop the adolescents, you tuna-cans!

All 3 Gunmen: Huh?

(Keroro's gunman stands heroically in front of the gunmen, who look confused).

Gunman#3: (curiously) Who the hell is this guy?

Gunman#1: 'Never seen him before.

Keroro: You all have 30 seconds to drop the Pekoponians, or face the ugly consequences!

Gunman#2: What consequences, exactly?

(Keroro, inside his gunman, stops for a moment, nervously).

Keroro: Uh…actually, I didn't really get that far, although you have to admit that the entrance was pretty good, am I right?

Simon: Sarge! Help!

Keroro: Okay, now I know what I'm gonna do. Fire in the hole!

(Keroro presses the button for the cannon and another cannonball crashes into the second gunman's face, making it drop Lagann).

Gunman#2: Ayah! (Drops Lagann). You're gonna pay for that!

Keroro: Come and get it, Transformer Rejects!

Gunman#1: Now you're dead! (Drops Gurren with a thud).

Gunman#2: (also drops Gurren) Tear him apart!

Keroro: (notices a button on handle) Hey, what's this? (Presses button).

(Suddenly, the hands on Keroro's gunman turn into large, medieval maces).

Keroro: Cool! Prepare for my awesomeness!

(Keroro's gunman smacks the second gunman right in the face and it falls over in pain).

Gunman#2: (in pain) AH!

Gunman#3: (in disbelief) What the-?! Maces?!

Keroro: You wanna piece of me?! Bring it on!

Gunman#1: GRRRR! Get him!

Gunman#2: (getting up) I'll rip out your-!

(All of a sudden, Lagann promptly drills off the second gunman's arms).

Gunman#2: Hey! My arms! One of them wasn't even mechanical!

Simon: He's all yours Sarge!

Keroro: With pleasure, Simon.

(Keroro's gunman's hands turn back into cannons and fire two cannonballs that blow up the second gunman, who explodes with a metallic yell).

Keroro: Nice touch.

Gunman#1: They just blew up #2!

Gunman#2: Kill them!

(Suddenly, Gurren tackles the third gunman).

Gunman#3: Grah! What the-?!

Kamina: (smirking) You didn't think I was gonna let you get away with that did you?

(Gurren uses it's large, sharp sunglasses to slice through the third gunman, which blows up enormously).

Gunman#1: Uh-oh! I'm out of here! (runs).

Keroro: Oh no you don't! Kero? What's this button?

(Keroro presses a button and his gunman shoots a heat-seeking missile that flies after the first (and fleeing) gunman).

Gunman#1: (running and panting) Gotta run! Gotta run!

(The first gunman stops and looks at something on the ground).

Gunman#1: Hey, a Knickel!

(As the First gunman stops to pick up the knickel, he doesn't notice the missile land on his back like a dart on a dartboard).

Gunman#1: Got it! Huh? (Notices the missile on his back) Oh crap.

(The first gunman promptly blows up in an enormous explosion).

(Meanwhile, backs in Sgt. Keroro's world, at the same time the first gunman blows up, Fuyuki, who is eating lunch at school, has a strange feeling).

Fuyuki: (stops eating) Huh?

Natsumi: What's wrong, Fuyuki?

Fuyuki: Hmm. I don't know why, but I've just had the strangest feeling that in another world, there's been an explosion, and Sarge had something to do with it.

Natsumi: C'mon, that's the craziest thing you've said all day, compared to the Bigfoot Speech you gave yesterday.

Fuyuki: Look, I just felt it that's all. Maybe is has something to do with Sarge's disappearance.

Natsumi: (rolls her eyes) I honestly think that you were adopted.

Fuyuki: I know I felt something, but what?

(Back in the other world, moments after the first gunman has exploded…).

Simon: Whoa…

Yoko: That was pretty awesome!

Leeron: And somewhat hilarious.

Kamina: (Smiling) Well what do ya know, you actually do have the fighting spirit in you and-.

(Suddenly, Keroro uses his gunman to charge into Gurren).

Kamina: Ahh! What the hell was that for?!

Keroro: (smiling and laughing diabolically) Kerokerokero! I now have an ultimate weapon in my hands thanks to you! Now I shall conquer your puny little planet!

Kamina: Why you Little! You think that you can just turn on us after you saved us?!

Keroro: Actually, yes. Kero.

Kamina:(angrily)You're not going anywhere, TOADY, not after I kick your little green #$!

Keroro: Toady?! That's the last straw! I'm going to take you out first, pus-bucket!

(Gurren and Keroro's gunman prepare for an epic anime duel, and then promptly just start slap fighting instead).

Simon: Sarge! Bro! Wait! Stop!

Yoko: We can talk this over!

Kamina: (Ignoring the others) You can't beat me with that old piece of useless scrap metal! (Punches Keroro's gunmen).

Keroro: Insolent teenage brat! You really think that your better than me?! Take this! (Punches Gurren).

(They both punch each other, causing damage, until Yoko blasts the both of them, knocking them over).

Yoko: Males just don't know when to stop bickering with each other.

(When Simon, Yoko, and Leeron arrive to the battle site, they go to Gurren and Keroro's gunman to see if Keroro and Kamina are all right).

Simon: Bro?! Are you all right?!

(Kamina angrily jumps out of Gurren).

Kamina: (angrily) Where's that little son of a b #%*?! I'm gonna kick his-?!

Leeron: Yep. He's all right.

Yoko: Keroro?! Are you okay?!

Kamina: (angrily pounding on gunman's mouth) Open up, you little &*^%$# !

Simon: Sarge! Say something!

(At that moment, they all start to hear something coming from the gunman. It is the sound of crying. It is the sound of Keroro crying).

Simon: Sarge?

(They all press against the gunman closely and listen to what is happening. Inside the gunmen's cockpit, we see Keroro, who is bruised, all curled up, and crying softly while talking to himself).

Keroro: (crying) It's my old world all over again. Whenever I try to do some radical invasion crap like this, Natsumi wold call me "stupid frog" or something else relating to that and invoke pain on me. Once I'm outside, they'll be waiting for me, so that they can grab me by my head, call me "stupid frog or toad" and finally hurt me.

(Keroro then covers his face as he cries even more).

Keroro: (crying louder) I don't know what to do! I have to conquer these people, but they're my friends, but if I don't conquer them, I'll get in trouble with headquarters and they'll send someone else to-oh, it's to horrible to think of! I make enemies wherever I go, even if it's an ordinary sushi bar. Now my only friends in this dimension are my mortal enemies. Might as well get it over with. Things will never change for me.

(Keroro opens the gunmen's mouth and sadly crawls out to met team Gurren. Simon and Yoko, who heard every word being said from Keroro, just look at him).

Keroro: I understand that you're all angry with me, and I don't blame you, so I'll make it quick. Go ahead and beat me to a pulp and destroy all my Gundams and force me to do your grueling labor.

(Yoko stands and looks down at the sorry and wounded space amphibian, who is expecting them to hurt him for what he's done. Then, the most extraordinary things happens: Yoko slowly smiles, knells down at Keroro, and helps him up onto his feet).

Keroro: (Through tears) (Sniff) Well? I'm waiting! Hurt me already! Make me polish your gunmen!

Yoko: Are you all right, Sarge?

Keroro: (unaware) Of course I'm not all right I'm-Wait, kero, you're …wondering if I'm all right?

Yoko: Yeah, you look awful.

(Later, in the camp, Yoko bandages Keroro's wounds and scratches, while Keroro sits in confusion and surprise).

Keroro: I don't get it.

Yoko: What don't you get?

Keroro: Why are you bandaging my wounds when I tried to conquer you and kill you all that. Weren't you gonna hurt me or destroy my gundams?

Kamina: I would.

Yoko: (Sternly) Shut up, Kamina, you're not helping! (Turns to Keroro) Anyway, the reason why is because we heard what you were saying in the gunman and I feel sorry for you.

Simon: So do I Sarge.

Boota: BouBou! (Translation: Me too!)

Kamina: I sure as hell don't.

Simon: Bro!

Keroro: I still don't get it.

Yoko: Well, after hearing about your problem, I realize that hurting you isn't always the way to solve the problem.

Keroro: Really? What do you mean?

Yoko: If we hurt you, we'll only be causing you more pain and hatred. It would be better to try and help you solve your problem.

Simon: Yoko that's so kind of you.

Leeron: Rather care than painful agony.

Kamina: Hmph! What crap.

Yoko: (angrily) Oh shut up.

(Keroro, touched by all this, starts to cry).

Keroro: (crying in happiness) You…have a way with words…Yoko…T-thank you.

Yoko: (smiles) There's no need to thank me, really.

Keroro: No, really, thank you.

(Keroro looks at Yoko, who is still bandaging him. He sees her golden honey brown eyes and a tear slowly falls down his cheek. Then Phil Collins begins to sing:

Phil Collins:

**There are things in life**

**You learn and, oh in time**

**You'll see**

'**Cause out there somewhere**

**It's all waiting**

**If you keep believing**

**So don't run, don't hide **

**It will be all right**

**You'll see**

**Trust me**

**I'll be there**

**Watching over you**

Simon: Uh, where's that singing coming from?

Keroro: I have absolutely no idea.

Yoko: (notices Keroro looking at her) What is it, Sarge?

Keroro: Oh, nothing (continues looking at Yoko's eyes).

Phil Collins: **Just take a look through my eyes**

**There's a better place somewhere out there**

**Ooh just take a look through my eyes**

**Everything changes**

**You'll be amazed what you'll find**

**There's a better place **

**If you look through my eyes**

(Keroro is staring into Yoko's golden brown eyes and she notices and smirks).

Yoko: (smiling) Are you looking at my eyes, Sarge?

Keroro: (nervously) Kero! Uh, heheh, no way, I was just, uh, doing my, er, eye staring practice. Kero.

Yoko: Okay then.

Keroro: Hey, uh, I'm sorry about that whole invasion thing and trying to kill you all earlier. I was so excited by all the action that is seemed like a good opportunity for the invasion to start.

Yoko: (smiles) Hey, we all make mistakes.

Keroro: Well, you're right about that.

Kamina: That's a lie! Men like me and Simon don't make mistakes, right Simon?

Simon: Well, actually, bro, I think Yoko's right. We were caught in a trap set by those gunmen and we taken by surprise because we didn't know about it, and if Sarge hadn't of come, we would have been killed.

Keroro: Yeah, and we learn from our mistakes (well most of us) and I'll have to be more responsible with Keralt.

Simon: Keralt?

Keroro: Yeah, my gunmen (points to old gunman) of course, it's your decision whether I pilot it or not.

Kamina: Hey, you found it, it's yours.

Keroro: Really?

Kamina: Yep Consider yourself a member of Team Gurren. Besides, even if you try to turn on me, I'll kick your &%*!

Keroro: I'm warning you Pekoponian, I have tape in my kero ball and I'm not afraid to use it!

Yoko: Alright that's enough violence for one day.

Keroro: Oh, kero, I almost forgot, I've decided to accompany you to find this Enemy Headquarters thingy.

Simon: Really? That's great! Hey, Sarge, are you going to be okay?

Keroro: Oh, don't worry, this isn't the first time I've been bruised like this, and I'm pretty sure it won't be the last.

Boota: BwiBwi! (licks Keroro's face).

Keroro: (smiles) Kerokerokero. You make a nice face warmer and small little dog that licks faces, Boota.

Boota: Bwi?

(Back in Keroro's world, at the Hinata house, Fuyuki and Natsumi are back home from school and are watching t.v.. At that moment, Aki walks in).

Aki: Kids! I'm home!

Fuyuki: Hey mom.

Aki: 'Got home from work early today. The guy who does the art work for the manga strip pulled another strain and he had a concussion.

Natsumi: That's not new.

Aki: So Sarge isn't home yet?

Fuyuki: No. I really am starting to worry about him.

Aki: I'm sure he's just out there somewhere buying another one of his Gundams or Comics.

Natsumi: Who cares? We finally have some peace around here.

Aki: Natsumi, it's your turn to do the dishes.

Natsumi: (complaining) But mom, that's the toad's job!

Aki: Since he's not here, it's your turn.

Natsumi: Aw crap.

Fuyuki: (worried) Where could Sarge be?

(Later that night, Team Gurren and Keroro get ready for bed).

Keroro: I was wondering, can we continue having that conversation we had earlier today, about what my hobbies are? It's been quite a while since anyone was interested in what I like.

Yoko: Sure!

Simon: So, Sarge, What's it like to be a soldier?

Keroro: Well, it's hard and bloody work, but it all pays of. It all started when I was a young tadpole…

Yoko: Uh, you don't really have to tell us your whole life story.

British Narrator: And so, another long night begins with Sergeant Keroro retelling how it was when he was a kid.

Kamina: Hey! Shaddup already you old hag! I'm trying to sleep!

British Narrator: All this reminds me of a story of when I was at Oxford. It was a rainy Tuesday, or was it Monday?

Yoko: (sighs) It's gonna be a long night.


End file.
